There’s no such thing as a perfect church, but God doesn’t want you in a place that is spiritually abusive. Here’s how to tell whether you should say goodbye to your pastor:

FIVE WARNING SIGNS OF AN UNHEALTHY CHURCH (or CULT)

(A condensed version of the article in  Charisma By Mike Fehlauer)

"Mark, can we talk? I’m really concerned that our church is becoming… well, it’s almost…a cult." Mark thought it was strange that Steve was actually afraid to talk about this subject. He was particularly bothered by an attitude of secrecy concerning the church’s finances.

When Mark talked with Steve a week later, he discovered just how strong the pastor’s influence was over this congregation. Steve had apologized to the pastor for talking with an outsider about his problems with the church, and he pledged that he would never talk with Mark again. Mark has not heard from Steve since.

Deadly Traits of a Controlling Spirit:

1. Power position. If a pastor reminds the congregation every Sunday that he is in charge, you can be sure that trouble is around the corner. In an unhealthy church, the pastor actually begins to take the place of Jesus in your lives. The implication is made that unless a person leaving receives pastoral permission, God will not bless them. Controlling spiritual leaders use this kind of reasoning to manipulate people.

How a church reaches this point of deception: Because pastors measure their success by attendance, they may be disappointed if people leave. If they are insecure, they may actually develop a doctrine to stop followers from leaving. They may preach sermons about unconditional loyalty, using the biblical stories of David and Jonathan, or Elisha and Elijah. A controlling leader may also attempt to instill a sense of obligation by reminding his congregation of everything he has done for them.

This kind of preaching causes members to seek a position of favor with the leader rather than a proper desire to "please God and not man" (see Acts 5:29). Jesus condemned such men pleasing when he told the Pharisees: "‘I have come in my father’s name, and you do not receive me. How can you believe, who receive honor from one another, and seek not the honor that comes from God only?’" (John 5:43-44).

2. An atmosphere of secrecy. When members surrender to a system of control, the leader gives limited information to each person. Or he may say things to cause one follower or staff member to feel superior. This can become his "control maintenance," insuring that the members could never challenge his authority. Secrecy also may cloak the area of finances of the church.

3. An elitist attitude. This deadly trait produces an "us and them" mentally – a church that believes that no one is really preaching the gospel but them. Or at least, no one is preaching it as effectively as they are!

An elitist discourages members from visiting other churches or receiving counsel from anyone who doesn’t attend their church. A healthy church respects and celebrates the other expressions of Christ’s many membered body. A Jesus-centered church realizes that no one denomination or local church can win a city, regardless of how large it is. The Baptists are as vital as the charismatic and every racial group has a place at the Lord’s table.

AS IF!!

4. Performance emphasis. Opportunities to minister are abundant in most churches. Yet in a controlling one, those ministries are no longer opportunities to serve. They become necessary in order to prove one’s commitment to the organization. Weather it’s faithful attendance to worship services or working in some department, loyalty becomes the key. Although church attendance is vital to our spiritual growth, if we find ourselves attending church so we can win favor with the pastor or to earn his trust, we have missed the point. Galatians 2:16 tells us that "a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ." We can not earn heaven or God’s love. The message of God’s grace doesn’t cancel the need to serve, it just exposes the "why" of our service.

5. Fear motivation. When a leader tells his congregation that those who leave his church or disobey his authority or in danger of God’s wrath, you can be sure that he is operating in a spirit of control. He is attempting to use fear as a carnal means if keeping people in his church. The line usually goes like this: "If you leave our church, the blessing of God will be lifted from your life, and you will miss God’s will." Another version says, "If you leave our church, you will be rebellion, and Satan will be free to bring havoc into your life." Fear is the motivation here – not love. This type of reasoning is not from God. Jesus never motivated man out of fear. In a controlling church, fear is a form of manipulation. What isn’t accomplished through love and servant-hood, the leader tries to accomplish through manipulation. This is a direct contradiction to 1st. John 4:18, which says, "There’s no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear."

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